I told you we were having a play date yesterday... I know that shouldn't seem all that unusual, but once you hear the background, you'll know WHY it was special enough to drive over 2 hours to go!
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At 38, with an 18 year old, a lot of my friends are my age or a little older and have children graduated from High School. We got to be friends when our kids (B for us) were in activities together (there WILL be a future post on Girl Scouts!). When C came along, all of a sudden we had less in common. And I didn't know many people in our town having babies at my age! They were all younger than me, it seemed. Since C was my first pregnancy, and SO long awaited, I had oodles of support from family, etc. & it didn't seem to matter that I didn't have friends going through it at the same time. After she was born, we went to all the Early Childhood/Family Education (ECFE) classes we could to meet some other parents. Yes- fun for C, but I felt *essential* for ME to make myself a new support system.
At 38, with an 18 year old, a lot of my friends are my age or a little older and have children graduated from High School. We got to be friends when our kids (B for us) were in activities together (there WILL be a future post on Girl Scouts!). When C came along, all of a sudden we had less in common. And I didn't know many people in our town having babies at my age! They were all younger than me, it seemed. Since C was my first pregnancy, and SO long awaited, I had oodles of support from family, etc. & it didn't seem to matter that I didn't have friends going through it at the same time. After she was born, we went to all the Early Childhood/Family Education (ECFE) classes we could to meet some other parents. Yes- fun for C, but I felt *essential* for ME to make myself a new support system.
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Well, making yourself a new support system can be hard & long & drawn out when you're only seeing these people once a week or so at an ECFE class. Don't get me wrong- I've met some VERY nice & wonderful people there, but it's taken a lot of time. We've JUST started having play dates outside of ECFE, and it's hard to fit them in our schedules sometimes. And even then, the play dates are spent chasing kids around and the mamas don't get a lot of chance to talk and get to know each other better. It's a work in progress.
Well, making yourself a new support system can be hard & long & drawn out when you're only seeing these people once a week or so at an ECFE class. Don't get me wrong- I've met some VERY nice & wonderful people there, but it's taken a lot of time. We've JUST started having play dates outside of ECFE, and it's hard to fit them in our schedules sometimes. And even then, the play dates are spent chasing kids around and the mamas don't get a lot of chance to talk and get to know each other better. It's a work in progress.
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So- when I found out I was pg with E, I decided to poke around on-line and went to the "What to Expect (when you're expecting)" website. There they had groups~ "boards"~ you could join based on when you were due. My EDD with E at that point was 1/10/10 (later it was moved up, and with a planned C-section she actually came 12/21/09), so I joined the Jan. 2010 group. BEST MOVE EVER!! I couldn't get on much, the site was hard to navigate- especially with dial-up, but it got my foot in the door. I checked out the WTE page for Jan. 2010 on Facebook & "friended" some MORE mamas-to-be... we started chatting some, and I had found myself women going through the same things as I was! Since it was my second pregnancy, while everyone around me was still happy for me, they weren't as interested in hearing all the little details. And B and her friends were all starting their Senior year of High School, so my friends (the parents of HER friends) were all busier, too.
So- when I found out I was pg with E, I decided to poke around on-line and went to the "What to Expect (when you're expecting)" website. There they had groups~ "boards"~ you could join based on when you were due. My EDD with E at that point was 1/10/10 (later it was moved up, and with a planned C-section she actually came 12/21/09), so I joined the Jan. 2010 group. BEST MOVE EVER!! I couldn't get on much, the site was hard to navigate- especially with dial-up, but it got my foot in the door. I checked out the WTE page for Jan. 2010 on Facebook & "friended" some MORE mamas-to-be... we started chatting some, and I had found myself women going through the same things as I was! Since it was my second pregnancy, while everyone around me was still happy for me, they weren't as interested in hearing all the little details. And B and her friends were all starting their Senior year of High School, so my friends (the parents of HER friends) were all busier, too.
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Anyway- I started getting to know more ladies from the board. Then the WTE site started having more issues, and some mamas decided to move over to Pro Boards and start a NEW board. I was invited to try it out, and lo & behold, it was easy enough for me to navigate & be on even with my dial-up! Yippee!! I started to get to know more & more mamas... feel more & more comfortable sharing things with them and asking questions... TA-DA!!! I had a new support system!!!!! One where my age didn't matter (I'm 2nd oldest!), we could leave messages & get back to each other on our own schedules, it didn't matter if you had to go chase an older child or change a diaper~ they'd be there when you got back. Or be back soon themselves! The "process" of becoming friends was sped up by such constant access: there's almost ALWAYS someone else on the board!
Anyway- I started getting to know more ladies from the board. Then the WTE site started having more issues, and some mamas decided to move over to Pro Boards and start a NEW board. I was invited to try it out, and lo & behold, it was easy enough for me to navigate & be on even with my dial-up! Yippee!! I started to get to know more & more mamas... feel more & more comfortable sharing things with them and asking questions... TA-DA!!! I had a new support system!!!!! One where my age didn't matter (I'm 2nd oldest!), we could leave messages & get back to each other on our own schedules, it didn't matter if you had to go chase an older child or change a diaper~ they'd be there when you got back. Or be back soon themselves! The "process" of becoming friends was sped up by such constant access: there's almost ALWAYS someone else on the board!
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We've been together since early pregnancy, some of us, and it was so thrilling to hear as each baby was born. There's been some drama- even to the extent of the splitting of the board. People have come & gone, but a core group is always there. I would be soooo lost without them! There are about 100 members, maybe 55 or so I am more familiar with. We are spread out across the U.S. & the U.K. & Australia. The 2 in Australia met up & have become fast friends & their two children were even ring bearer & flower girl in the one's wedding! There have been meet-ups in Florida, California, Texas & other places, and of course, for ME- Minnesota! THAT was our play date yesterday: 2 other mamas & their little ones & me & my two littler ones at a splash park on a glorious summer day. ABSOLUTELY worth the drive.
We've been together since early pregnancy, some of us, and it was so thrilling to hear as each baby was born. There's been some drama- even to the extent of the splitting of the board. People have come & gone, but a core group is always there. I would be soooo lost without them! There are about 100 members, maybe 55 or so I am more familiar with. We are spread out across the U.S. & the U.K. & Australia. The 2 in Australia met up & have become fast friends & their two children were even ring bearer & flower girl in the one's wedding! There have been meet-ups in Florida, California, Texas & other places, and of course, for ME- Minnesota! THAT was our play date yesterday: 2 other mamas & their little ones & me & my two littler ones at a splash park on a glorious summer day. ABSOLUTELY worth the drive.
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And a last sentimental note: I love these women. Seriously. My life is so much better because of them. Don't laugh because I met them online. I would go meet any one of them in person if I could! (Bucket list item: meet as many PB mamas as possible!) They have taken the time to really get to know me, my family, my hopes and dreams... we get silly (Flying Miracle Whip?), play games (whoami??), have our own little Happy Hours in a chat room (can't WAIT for the next one now that I have DSL), share tons of pictures of our little ones, have our own language (POAS, BFN, LO, EDD, AF), get serious & ask for advice, sympathy, prayer requests; mourn with each other and rejoice with each other (new babies! new jobs! new homes!). Everything any one could ever want in a friend... and I have them all here at the click of a mouse...
And a last sentimental note: I love these women. Seriously. My life is so much better because of them. Don't laugh because I met them online. I would go meet any one of them in person if I could! (Bucket list item: meet as many PB mamas as possible!) They have taken the time to really get to know me, my family, my hopes and dreams... we get silly (Flying Miracle Whip?), play games (whoami??), have our own little Happy Hours in a chat room (can't WAIT for the next one now that I have DSL), share tons of pictures of our little ones, have our own language (POAS, BFN, LO, EDD, AF), get serious & ask for advice, sympathy, prayer requests; mourn with each other and rejoice with each other (new babies! new jobs! new homes!). Everything any one could ever want in a friend... and I have them all here at the click of a mouse...
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So don't be surprised if you hear them mentioned a lot here. At the moment, they are some of the only ones even AWARE of this blog! But maybe this way when others join them, they'll understand our friendship better.
Love you, mamas!!
So don't be surprised if you hear them mentioned a lot here. At the moment, they are some of the only ones even AWARE of this blog! But maybe this way when others join them, they'll understand our friendship better.
Love you, mamas!!
What a sweet post. Thanks for brightening my day!
ReplyDelete--Stephanie (medellia44)
very sweet post :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! What an excellant way to describe the board. :)
ReplyDelete