Peter Pan

Are you familiar with the story of Peter Pan?  There are so many stories and movies- all based on the works of J.M. Barry.  The Disney version is maybe the best-known for my generation.  Even now, C will watch it over and over (and over...).  I was lucky enough to be IN a stage production of it a few years ago- it was community theater with a director from New York & his opera singer wife as Peter Pan (it IS traditionally played by a woman- think Mary Martin).  I was cast as "Grown-up Wendy," who only appears the last five minutes of the play.  It worked out well, since B was still a preteen (but "mature" enough to not get cast as a "Lost Child") so old enough to be left at home while I had rehearsal- but not TOO often.  I was the last person on stage... and the director reassured me mine was the part he was least worried about.  I don't tend to stage fright & had my 5-6 lines pegged, so he knew I would pull it off :)  (Hmmm- I have the video somewhere, and never HAVE gotten to see all of it...)  Anyway, I digress... the point is, I know the story VERY well, and love it VERY well, also.

There are any number of film versions and even movies based on stories BEYOND the play.  'Finding Neverland' with Johnny Depp as the playwright is good (young Freddie Highmore is excellent).  And our movie tonight (until D started falling asleep!):  'Hook'- with Robin Williams & Dustin Hoffman.  Dame Maggie Smith (pre- HP McGonagall!) plays an even OLDER Grown-up Wendy.  Some say the story is ridiculous, but I'm loving it (I've seen it many times) yet again.  It's all coming back to me as I watch, and it's almost as if I've lived the story.

But there ARE new things I've never noticed before (much to my delight).  For instance- I commented to D that the one pirate looked way too young/wrinkle free to be the age they had "him" looking based on the very obvious wig & fake beard.  In Googling for images for this blog, I learned it was actually Glenn Close!  It makes me wonder who else may be hiding in the cast...

But the MOST important part I noticed... my "take-away, " if you will... was Peter's wife (and Wendy's granddaughter) trying to convince him to spend more time with his children.  I don't know the exact wording, but it went along the lines of "It's only a short time- a few years- when they WANT to be with us" and how we need to make the most of those few years.  Wow.  I thought about how FAST the last 20-25 years have flown by (since High School, basically) and then thought about B's childhood.  It went by in an instant, it seems.  The years when she really "needed" us AND "wanted" us around (they don't always overlap, of course!) were really just a blink of an eye when I can remember things from 35+ years ago.  And the same thing is happening as C & E are growing.  I can already see C getting SO independent at times, and even E is getting where Mama isn't always the favorite (she's a Daddy's girl)- heck, there are days she could care less where I was!

Value these few short years.  The days can be long, I know, but the years are short.  Fast.  My younger mama friends can't even fathom how fast the next 15 years will go.  Don't wish them away and don't blink; you'll miss them.  Both the years AND your babies.  Good night- time for me to go kiss MY babies one more time.

Ooops- I did it again...

And NO, it's not a post on Brittany Spears!

Instead, it's another apology for ignoring this blog for so long- not quite a MONTH since I last posted.  I've thought of it many times, but never had the time I thought it deserved.  Or I was brain-dead at the moment.  Take your pick.

I *have* become more determined that I *will* post more regularly as soon as our fall schedule gets underway.  C will be in preschool 2 mornings a week, and while it will partly be time for one-on-one with E, I'm also hoping to make those my blogging days: Tuesdays and Thursdays.  So much for my MWF blogging ideas!  Eh- I'll do them anyway :)

So- I'll end THIS post since I DO have an idea (& time to write!) for this week's Whatever-Wednesday.  Toodles!

I-Made-It-Monday

Yes.  I know.  I have been VERY bad about blogging lately.  Very bad. 

But- life happens.  And I don't want to miss it as it goes by!  Summer is VERY busy for us, especially this week, with Vacation Bible School, swimming lessons & birthday parties.  Pretty sure I won't be back on again this week!  But...

For THIS Make-it-Monday, I am featuring one of my greatest creations ever:

Happy 4th birthday, Little Miss C.  Mama loves you!

Make-It Monday : Taco Salad

So, it is Monday again, and I have missed many (many) days of blogging.  But we DID make something this Monday!  However, it was the Banana-Chocolate Chip muffins from an earlier week, so I can't use that again!  However, we had a family reunion this last weekend and I made a family favorite for it, so I choose that Taco Salad to share with you today :)  The perk for me is I don't even have to go get the recipe to copy it over for you!  B had this at her graduation party last year, and after 15-16 batches, I kinda know it by heart now...

Taco Salad
1# hamburger, browned & seasoned with
1 package taco seasoning (as on the back of the package)
1 head lettuce, ripped into pieces (or a bag of lettuce)
2-3 tomatoes, diced
1 cup shredded cheese (Cheddar, Co-Jack, whatever you'd use on tacos)
Doritos, broken into bite-sized pieces (about 1/2 a "Family Size" bag)
Western (Wishbone brand) dressing- about 3/4 of a 16 oz. bottle

Assemble everything in a large bowl, pour the dressing over the top & stir.  Add more dressing as needed.  Serve chilled.  Feel free to add other taco fixings your family likes- onions, peppers, beans, etc.

So- there you have it- FINALLY- a blog post from me!  I'm hoping to get back on track with posting so I finally feel gutsy enough & worthy enough to let others in on the idea that I even HAVE a blog... must.get.more.followers...

Happy Holiday Weekend!

To my Canadian Friends: I hope you had a Happy Canada Day on Friday!

To my U.S. Friends: Have a good Independence Day tomorrow!

Isn't it funny how summer holidays always seem to take a full weekend? It always seems nicer when the 4th falls on a Friday or a Monday- automatic long weekend. I like it THIS year because we sang all sorts of patriotic songs in church this morning :) As my mom commented "We should sing these every Sunday- everyone sang out so well!" The pastor was also able to incorporate the holiday into his sermon. He started out talking about how in years past (like 20 years ago), the patriotic part of the holiday- talking about justice & liberty- seemed to be a footnote to people's celebrations. But since 9/11 and the battles in Afghanistan & Iraq, people have come to realize the meaning of the holiday more. Prayers for peace and the safety of our soldier's have come to the forefront, instead of being an after thought. Isn't it sad it takes having our servicemen and women being killed to make the holiday have true value for some??

So- enjoy your holiday weekend, and pray for peace that next year our loved ones will be home to celebrate with us. Amen- Let it be so.

Pretend it's still Monday...

OK, I know for many people that's a scary thought: Monday is long enough! I mean in respect to me not getting "Make-It Monday" posted yesterday. For the same reason the goodies I was going to MAKE yesterday didn't get made until today: D has relatives around from out of town, so we've been gone visiting a lot. A LOT. But- the goodies have now been made, partially DEVOURED & soon to be packed up to share with said relatives.

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Anyway~ the recipe this week if for Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins. My sister shared this recipe with our mom. I also thought bananas and chocolate a strange combination and told myself I didn't like it. HA! The muffins are sooooo good. They are also EASY! C, at almost 4, LOVES to help mash the bananas and pour in ingredients, and today we realized even 18m. E can put cupcake liners in the pans! (OK, yes, she crumpled them more than anything, but cheap entertainment & she considered herself to be "helping".) I don't even use a mixer to make these, so clean up is simple, too.

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1 1/2 cups flour

2/3 c. sugar

1 1/2 tsp. baking powder & some soda (we don't know WHY it calls for soda, too, but put it in anyway...?)

1/4 tsp. salt

1 c. mashed bananas (I just use 2 or even 3 if I have them handy!)

1/2 c. melted butter

1/4 c. milk

3/4 c. chocolate chips

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Basically- mix everything in a bowl! I add everything but the chocolate chips, stir thoroughly with a rubber scraper, add the chips (before my "helpers" eat them all), and they're ready to go! The recipe says 32 minutes at 350 degrees, but that would be for 12-18 full-size muffins. My girls LOVE mini-muffins, so we are to make 48 muffins and bake them for 16-17 minutes. Let them cool as long as you can stand, and then EAT! Even little E can eat 3 or more of these at a sitting! (We won't talk about how many her mama can eat at a sitting...)

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So there is your Make-It-Monday-on-Tuesday post. If I send D & C to go fishing with all the rellies this afternoon & E naps well, you MIGHT even get Whatever Wednesday a day early! Check back to see where my mind is wandering off to this week...

Clowns

OK- This isn't completely random this week. We're going to the circus tomorrow, so it has it's own relevance. But I have definitely had random thoughts on clowns before!
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I told C tonight that we are going to the circus tomorrow. She is almost 4, so this will actually be her 3rd time going (4th if you count Yakov Smirnoff's Circus show in Branson a year ago!) Between faint memories of past years and what she's seen in books, she has a general idea of what to expect. I've been to this Shrine Circus MANY MANY times through the years, so I *really* have an idea what to expect. I told here there might be elephants, tigers or lions, trained dogs, etc... Her response: "But NO clowns, OK, mama?" I reassured her there may be 1 or 2, but that they would just be people acting silly and that would be OK.
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So WHY do we associate clowns with the circus when it seems so many little kids are freaked out by clowns? I don't even particularly like most clowns. Just NOT my thing, I guess. I used to have a poster of the famous Emmett Kelly clown on my wall in H.S. It was fine until I rearranged my room & could suddenly see it at night. I had to take it down! It scared me in the dark! (Also why if E had been a boy, the name Emmett ended up out of the running.) And do my children not like clowns as well because of my subconscious influences?
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But it's NOT just me... Look at Toy Story 3- the clown is a sad sack & little scary at times. And horror movies with scary clown dolls (don't make me find a reference- I need to be able to sleep tonight). And movies where the bad guys wear clown costumes to pull off a heist or even a murder. It's a cultural icon! Yet, some people LOVE clowns & clowning... I'm trying to think of other items/personnas in our society that seem to have such polar reactions- and I'm not finding too many (but that could be because my brain is tired...) Strangely enough, most I can come up with (OK- I've tried different ways to end that phrase without a dangling preposition & just CAN NOT do it tonight) have to do with things directed toward children.

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Here's the deep, though-provoking part (or not)- Is there something in each person's psyche that relates the fear of clowns to the fear of being SEEN as a clown? We are afraid to seem foolish in front of others, so we fear those who purposely appear foolish? As if it may be contagious? So maybe those who LOVE clowns are also those who have learned to be comfortable in their insecurities and see the world as a safe place where it is OK to let others see the slapstick in their soul? (Oooh- I like that phrase...)

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All righty- that's all this tired little brain can handle tonight. I was thinking of opening this blog up to more friends, etc, but I may have to wait until a better (less random?) post than this one! Thanks for reading anyway & putting up with MY foolishness for the day :)

Chocolate Make-It Monday

I've been a bit behind on my blog lately, but have decided since it *is* MY blog, I really do NOT have to apologize. Or feel guilty. (Maybe if I keep telling myself that enough it will work... I'm sorry- so sorry...)

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Anyway. My mom is after me to submit some recipes for our family reunion coming up, so I dug out my standards that I share on request (as in- they are the ones already typed into my computer, so easy to pull up when someone asks me to share a recipe! And they ARE my most popular requests...) This is only ONE of my family favorites- especially B & D's. D's gramma used to make them a lot (but mine are better). B actually gave these to her friends as graduation gifts last year. Except the teenage kids don't call them Filled Cupcakes. They're "that age"- you know, when it's fun to make things be about S-E-X? So, they call them Sex Cupcakes. I'm not sure I want to really know why, except that they really are THAT good.

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Filled Cupcakes
The reason my college student wants me to visit!
1 pkge. Chocolate cake mix (we like devil’s Food- Dark Chocolate is also very good, but any chocolate will work!) (aprox. 18 oz package)
Ingredients to make cake as directed on the back of the box.
--- Mix up cake as directed on back of box.
8 oz. softened cream cheese
1/3 c. sugar
1 egg
1 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips
--- Beat cream cheese & sugar until light & fluffy. Beat in egg. Stir in chocolate chips. Fill cupcake liners (will make 24) 2/3 full with cake batter. Drop aprox. 1 Tbsp. of cream cheese mix into each liner also. Bake as directed on the mix box. The filling will sink to the middle. Frost with "Chocolate Chip frosting":

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1 ½ c. white sugar
6 Tb. Margarine or butter
6 Tb. Milk
1 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips
--- Boil 1st 3 ingredients for 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Remove from heat & stir in chocolate chips until smooth. Let cool & pour over cake, or cool until spreadable for cupcakes.

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So- enjoy the cupcakes. They really are VERY easy and VERY good. My family has also been known to keep the extra frosting in the fridge to eat with a spoon. Annnndddd- now I want one. Hmmm- a cool summer day- seems like a good time to bake!

Falling Behind

I can't believe I am already falling behind in my blogging! It's been a busy week, and I have less time on the computer when D is off (his days off rotate- this week it was Wed. & Thursday. I had pictures taken today of C (4 year pics) & E (18m pics)- can't wait to share them on here, but will have to wait until I have them in hand, I think.

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Anyway- I WILL try & do another post tomorrow! I'm hoping we can get back into our routine again soon. Then again, it's summer? What's a routine?!?

Surviving Sick Kids

It's been a long couple of days around our house. I didn't take C to T-ball Thursday night because she seemed "off." At bedtime, I realized she was burning up- 102. I gave her some ibuprofen, but her fever lasted all night- up to 103 at times. I kept alternating ibuprofen & generic Tylenol. She was up 4-5 times to go potty, and I thought maybe she had a UTI. So, in the morning, I called the Dr. We went in- she was still warm, but they didn't even take her temperature (?!?!). They called us later & no signs of a UTI, so "just" a virus. Treat the fever, rest, fluids, etc & if she gets worse, call back. The nurse DID tell us they've been seeing this a lot, so at least we knew it wasn't just out of the blue...

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We had a few errands to run & grabbed some lunch. I ran into Wal-mart while D stayed with the girls (it was his day off & C had wanted him to come, too- sweet daddy agreed!) & got C a new nightie, a new sippy, a Caillou movie, and fancy band-aids. The little things we do to try and cheer a sick kiddo up. She fell asleep on the way home- a rarity. She slept a lot & hung out on the couch. Her fever lasted all day- usually right around 102.

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Saturday was quiet. C's fever was down, but still low energy. She wanted to be entertained and wanted MAMA to be playing with her. She said her throat hurt still & I think there was residual achiness. She did manage to play outside for a little while, and I was relieved she was feeling better. Now to see who ELSE might get it...

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Sunday, we headed to church & both girls seemed OK- playing during coffee while the adults visited. We had plans for lunch at a local cafe & by the end, E was getting pretty grumpy. And starting to feel warm. Uh-oh...

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Sure enough, her temp was 101.5. Gave her ibuprofen & it was nap time anyway. She slept until almost 6 p.m.! That night, E and I both slept through the 1 a.m. ibuprofen dose- bad idea. Then, at 5 a.m. I heard whimpering. She'd fallen asleep with lots of blankets on & up over her head (her favorite way to sleep), so she was HOT HOT HOT. Our temporal thermometer first said 105.2!! Deep breaths, mama- took it in a different spot: 104. Got a cool washcloth & rocked her & sponged her off. I'd given her medicine right away, and she was down to 101 as she went back to sleep. I'd given her back the pacifier earlier- I just can't see NOT letting her have it when it soothes her so when she's not feeling good.

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So Monday was day 2 for E. I had a mammogram that a.m. (my sister & aunt both have breast cancer- I don't mess around with those things!), and D had an appointment, so I left him feeding the girls with instructions to bring them to my mom. She ended up putting E to bed. I got back not too long after that, and since E was sleeping, took C to the library. Had lunch at my parents' and took the girls home- E was ready for more sleep- STILL around 101. All she wanted to do was be held. She'd cry if C even looked at her wrong, and C was being very demanding of my attention now that she was feeling better. I called my mom to update her & they volunteered to come get C & let her stay overnight so I could concentrate on E. Soooo nice to have that help!

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Anyway, E slept well last night- still feverish- I even woke her at midnight to give her meds. I finally woke her at 9:15 a.m. She was touchy & cried when D left for work, so I rocked her with her bunny & pacifier to calm her down. She was asleep in no time- by 11:15! Back to bed! Fussed some around one until I rocked her again- I'm guessing that was about when the fever broke, because it was GONE after nap (4 pm). We decided she would stay with my parents (they still had C at this point, but offered to trade kids!) while C & I went to D's Union picnic. She was ready for bed by 8:15, but fussed until I gave in on the pacifier again. We'll work on getting rid of it again over the next few days...

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So- I survived some sucky days of mothering. Not that HARD, just emotionally demanding! It's no fun to see your kids miserable, and tough trying to take care of a healthier one when a sick one wants so much of you. But now I'm just waiting to see who it hits next... D has tomorrow & the next day off, so wouldn't it just be his luck... he does NOT get to be rocked & babied as much as the girlies, though! And, PLEASE, oh PLEASE, God, do not let Mama get this! Or at least not until a day my mom is off & can take the kids again... mamas don't get sick days :(

Make -It Monday: Cross-stitch stockings

I'm not in cooking/baking mode today (it's been a long few days with little girls taking turns being sick- hence no posts over the weekend), so instead I'm going to share things I've made in the past! Especially since I want to work on E's Christmas stocking, but am waiting until I'm done posting today's entry!

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Each of my immediate family has a Christmas stocking that I have made them- counted cross-stitch (no preprinted kits for this crafter!). B now complains hers is "too small" (it is!) and wants me to make her a new one. I told her when she gets married someday, I'll make her & her hubby matching/coordinating stockings (hmmm... she's already 18- maybe I should start now, as they take a LONG time!).

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C used a store-bought "Baby's 1st Christmas stocking" her first year, and shared with me her 2nd year (she was all of 17m & really didn't care anyway...), but now hers is done. She likes to say the three snowmen on it are Mama, Daddy & herself. Or else the three sisters. The pattern came with the embroidery floss, etc and went with me on various trips (even Alaska!) etc, before it was finally finished. I just hope all the french knots stay put through the years so I don't have to try & redo the little buggers!

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E was born 4 days before Christmas, so she used "Baby's 1st" also, and shared mine this past year. My goal is to have hers done for THIS Christmas- I'm probably about 40% done, but am enjoying doing it, so that is what counts! It is a similar style to my own (pictured near the bottom), but has a Christmas tree with presents at the toe, a armoire full of stuffed animals, a bassinet near the heel and a multi-paned window looking out on a friendly moon and some dangling star charms that I had to search high & low for (Ben Franklin Crafts finally had them :).

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D's was done *years* ago- even before mine. They were not completely "finished" (stitched but not sewn all the way together) until my mom had pity on me 2 years ago & did that part for me (I was 9m pg, after all!). I've always liked to think his could be a snap shot from his childhood- out playing in the snow with his brother. They have always been VERY close (BIL & his wife & 2 sons live 30 minutes away), so that would have been them exactly!

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Finally- we come to my own. I LOVED working on this- not that the patch-work denim ones my mom had made us as kids weren't OK... I just wanted something unique for my own family. I found a pattern I loved in a Cross-Stitch magazine (a hand-me-down magazine, even!) and tweaked the colors just a little to use what I had, etc. I remember buying the material... I'd always stuck to inexpensive Aida cloth... but this called for a very finely woven cloth in a specific color (mushroom!). I think it cost me about $15 (quite a few years ago)- definitely more than I'd ever spent before! Because it was so fine, most of it is stitched over TWO strands (so each square also has a hole in the center), except the alphabet sampler & the picture next to it are done in "petit-point" where the stitching is over one thread- VERY tiny. Ellie's will have the same for the baby's face and a doll's face. Mine shows many of the "homey" things I love- quilts (made by OTHER people), yarn (I like to crochet), cross-stitch, rustic crafts... Simply put: It's me.

Family Friday: How we Became a Family

Obviously, this is not a COMPETE background; D & I were a family from day one. But here's a bit about how our children came into our lives.

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Ours is one of those miracle stories...
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D & I got married in May 1993. I still had a year of college, so I was on BCP. I already knew I have PCOS (Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome- I'm SURE there will be future posts on this), so knew things might be tough. I went off BCP when I ran out in April 1994 (graduated May 1st). Nothing happened. In August, my parents were asked to take one last foster child- a 15m. old girl. They asked us to help out- she was supposed to be there about a month. We kept trying. The little girl's birth mom didn't follow through on what she was supposed to do to get her back. A year went by. By now, I'd tried Clomid and was being sent to a fertility specialist. The little girl's birth mom went to ONE counseling session, so was given a 6 month extension before she'd go on trial for child neglect. We went to the fertility specialist (it is now the fall/winter of 1995)- a set of sextuplets had recently been born and made the news. The drug their mother had used was the drug my fertility specialist was suggesting. Our insurance would not cover it & I would need Ultrasounds (US) every 2-3 days for 2 weeks, at the clinic an hour away (taking off work to go). ONE cycle of everything would cost at least $20,000 (AFTER what insurance would cover).

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Our dream of having a child by birth was dying... but at the same time it was looking like the little girl's birth mom might be terminating her rights. We realized this just might be God's answer to our prayers, and in February 1996, we were there in court when B's birth mom voluntarily terminated her rights (she would have had to stand trial the next day for neglect) and named D & I as who she would like to adopt B. We laid off the fertility stuff for the time being to concentrate on this precious gift, went through home studies, classes, etc & the adoption was final Dec. 1996 (B was 3 1/2).

I never went back on BCP more than a month or 2 at a time to "regulate" my cycle. I think I started trying Clomid again in 1998? I had found a new ob/gyn by then (still with him). We started with the "typical" dose- 50 mg a day for 5 days. Nothing. I'd have US each month to see if there was any eggs developing. Nope. After a few months, it was upped to 100mg- then 150mg. Then for 7 days, then for 10. Nothing. Then I learned about a medication called metformin (Glucophage) that was being prescribed for women with PCOS to handle Insulin Resistance (and ultimately aid fertility). I started that the summer of 2000. My weight had been creeping up, and combined with moving that fall, about 20 pounds just melted away. (My weight STILL goes back to w/in 2-3 pounds of the weight I settled at). And I just felt BETTER.
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So, we started the fertility stuff over again. Clomid:50 mg/5 days. Nothing. We zipped through the increases faster this time. A few times there was enough "activity" in my ovaries to warrant an HCG shot to release the eggs, but nothing ever fertilized. I grew to HATE home pregnancy tests. Never even a false positive. And then my cycles would be so off I wouldn't get a period afterwards, would have to go BACK on BCP a month to jump start it... see the problems, here? A vicious cycle of disappointments.
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And did I mention the SEVEN nieces & nephews born during all of this (1995-2002)? I had a lot of struggles with this emotionally for a while, but came to an acceptance that God had a plan. We'd talked about adopting again, but never really jumped on it, since then there would be a month where things looked promising... I also had cysts "lasered" off my ovaries at one point, a uterine polyp removed at another & a hypersalinogram (sp??)- "radiator flush" test that often increases fertility afterwards through the years. Nothing. Never. No miscarriages- I almost feel I could have handled that, because then at least I'd know my body COULD get pg and could try the same combo again. I eventually got up to 250 mg of Clomid a day for 10 days- basically 10 times the normal. My Dr. said I had the most resistant ovaries he'd ever seen! He tried to send me BACK to the fertility specialist, but since the guy had tried to told me my PCOS didn't really matter & hadn't seemed very willing to try much else... ummm, no thanks.

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I kept researching ideas & would give them to my Dr. I found research that Femara (a breast cancer drug) had been found to aid in ovulation. I gave my Dr. the info I'd found & he researched it some more. He agreed to let me try it along with the Clomid. It didn't help me accept to GREATLY reduce the side effects I'd started having (twinkling lights looked like shooting stars! freaky!) due to my high doses. However, he's told me he HAS had patients that it has helped, and thanked me for tuning him in to it. So, at least SOMEONE was getting results!
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So, B was growing up as an only child. I was doing daycare (2000-2005) and loving on every little baby I could get my hands on. By the beginning of 2005, I was done- no more fertility treatments. 32 years old, daycare was closing at the end of the summer, and I was at peace with having B to finish raising and the thought of an empty nest the fall of 2010. I wasn't sure if I'd be ready to NOT have little kids in my life in SOME way or another at the age of 38, but figured God had a plan. We were thinking of selling the house after I quit daycare & were starting to fix up our old farmhouse. When the daycare closed the end of August 2005, I had rummage sales & sold off almost all of my toys & kid supplies... I kept a few favorite toys & the old highchair my mom had used for all us kids, and darn it, the crib wouldn't sell...
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I rattled around the house that next year, knowing I'd need to find a job. I had my tonsils out in August of 2006 & lost 15 pounds & it seemed like 10 of it was going to stay off. My mom had knee surgery in October & I filled in for her at the thrift shop as manager. I enjoyed it & figured going back to work might be OK after all... but BOY was I tired at the end of the day (by November) and darn it, those 10 pounds were coming back. And by Thanksgiving, my breasts were SO sore, I made an appt. with my Family-Nurse Practitioner for the beginning of December- thinking I'd need a mammogram & was possibly going into early menopause. My period was still so irregular, I didn't even know when I'd had it last- September? October?? So, off I went to my appt.
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The FNP did a breast exam. She said she didn't want to send me for a mammogram right then because I would have killed someone with the pain it would have cause (based on my response to HER exam!). She was talking about my triglycerides (they are VERY high) & starting me on meds, etc- when she checked my lab results. They'd done a pg test as a "just in case" since we were talking meds, etc. I was on the table in my paper gown- she was at the computer looking at the lab results & started CRYING!!! "Amy- come here!!!! See that- it's POSITIVE!!!! You're PREGNANT!!" She was hugging me- I was in total shock. She sat me back down & laughed that all the other stuff we'd talked about was just going to have to wait! She did a quick exam & guessed me at about 10 weeks (since I wasn't sure when I'd had my period last). Even the nurse was crying- we'd JUST been talking about PCOS since her daughter had been recently diagnosed- I was offering advice & she had been sad thinking her daughter may have fertility troubles, but relieved to see *I* had come to peace with it... I got dressed, went out to the van & called D. Told him to sit down, I had news for him... (and no, honey, I had NOT been in a car accident...). He was in shock, too.
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I had a meeting to go to at the Girl Scout office- they told me later I was kind of in a daze (ya think??). I went to the grocery store first to buy some lunch- immediately switching to buying fruit & crackers, etc instead of the McD's I'd been planning! I told the check-out girl I'd just found out I was pg. I had to tell SOMEONE, after all- and she didn't know me anyway! I'd also managed to lock my keys in my van- I was in such a tizzy! So I walked to my meeting. At the Girl Scout office, I told one friend there so that they would let me use the phone to call my mom at work at the thrift shop. Mom started shrieking, crying and saying "OHH, Amy! Ohhhh, Amy!!" Yeah- the ladies there guessed pretty fast! The news got back to town before I did (I was an hour away). D came up to bring me the extra keys (gas was cheaper than calling a locksmith- and I think he was anxious to see me!)
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I went to my OB/GYN a few days later to confirm, get an US & find out a due date. He was almost as shocked as I was! He put me at more like 8.5 weeks- estimated due date of July 24th, 2007. We sent the news out in our Christmas letter. Many already knew, since our Pastor had even announced it in church that first Sunday! Yep- BIG support system!! So many people that had prayed for us for years... I stayed on my Metformin & blood pressure pills, ate right, went to all my appts & other than being on the meds, had a pretty easy pregnancy. (Labor was a different story for another day- ended in C-section). C was born 7-25-2007. I was glad the crib didn't sell after all!
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After C was born, I went on BCP for a year- the meeting at the Girls Scout office was for an Alaskan Cruise I was a Girl Scout Trip Director for & I'd committed to going a few months before I even knew I was pg. Thankfully the dates worked so I could be home for C's 1st birthday (I'd threatened her with an induction at my last appt 7/24 so that would work!) So I was on BCP so I wouldn't be pg on the ship! I'd heard pregnancies can really change each person's PCOS, put differently for different people. So I went OFF birth control in August of 2008. I told people I wasn't holding my breath, though, after waiting almost 14 years for C.
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I could have held my breath :) My cycles were getting longer & longer each period, but when it got to 52 days on 5/5/09, I tested & got my first ever POSITIVE from a home pregnancy test!! (I didn't hate it anymore!). We went to the Dr. a few days later & got E's first due date of 1/10/10. Later it was bumped up to 1/1/10, and with a planned C-section, she came 12/21/2009.
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We like to tell people- God has His own sense of timing- and a sense of humor! No, my nest was NOT empty this fall, and while I feel my age, chasing two little ones, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Whatever Wednesday...

Hmmm... like I said: there is a learning curve to this blogging stuff. On Sunday, I started a few new posts with just titles & a few brief notes so I would have "seeds" for future posts. One was my "Socks" post. It was supposed to be TODAY's post. But apparently, since I started it one Sunday, it posted as that day's post. Hrumph.

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So- The Whatever Wednesday post for this week is titled "Socks" and can be found BEFORE the Mama Friend post. I'll figure all this out yet.

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(And then maybe I'll figure out how to put in a paragraph break without having to use those dorky little lines!! Help, anyone??

My Mama Friends

I told you we were having a play date yesterday... I know that shouldn't seem all that unusual, but once you hear the background, you'll know WHY it was special enough to drive over 2 hours to go!

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At 38, with an 18 year old, a lot of my friends are my age or a little older and have children graduated from High School. We got to be friends when our kids (B for us) were in activities together (there WILL be a future post on Girl Scouts!). When C came along, all of a sudden we had less in common. And I didn't know many people in our town having babies at my age! They were all younger than me, it seemed. Since C was my first pregnancy, and SO long awaited, I had oodles of support from family, etc. & it didn't seem to matter that I didn't have friends going through it at the same time. After she was born, we went to all the Early Childhood/Family Education (ECFE) classes we could to meet some other parents. Yes- fun for C, but I felt *essential* for ME to make myself a new support system.

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Well, making yourself a new support system can be hard & long & drawn out when you're only seeing these people once a week or so at an ECFE class. Don't get me wrong- I've met some VERY nice & wonderful people there, but it's taken a lot of time. We've JUST started having play dates outside of ECFE, and it's hard to fit them in our schedules sometimes. And even then, the play dates are spent chasing kids around and the mamas don't get a lot of chance to talk and get to know each other better. It's a work in progress.

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So- when I found out I was pg with E, I decided to poke around on-line and went to the "What to Expect (when you're expecting)" website. There they had groups~ "boards"~ you could join based on when you were due. My EDD with E at that point was 1/10/10 (later it was moved up, and with a planned C-section she actually came 12/21/09), so I joined the Jan. 2010 group. BEST MOVE EVER!! I couldn't get on much, the site was hard to navigate- especially with dial-up, but it got my foot in the door. I checked out the WTE page for Jan. 2010 on Facebook & "friended" some MORE mamas-to-be... we started chatting some, and I had found myself women going through the same things as I was! Since it was my second pregnancy, while everyone around me was still happy for me, they weren't as interested in hearing all the little details. And B and her friends were all starting their Senior year of High School, so my friends (the parents of HER friends) were all busier, too.

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Anyway- I started getting to know more ladies from the board. Then the WTE site started having more issues, and some mamas decided to move over to Pro Boards and start a NEW board. I was invited to try it out, and lo & behold, it was easy enough for me to navigate & be on even with my dial-up! Yippee!! I started to get to know more & more mamas... feel more & more comfortable sharing things with them and asking questions... TA-DA!!! I had a new support system!!!!! One where my age didn't matter (I'm 2nd oldest!), we could leave messages & get back to each other on our own schedules, it didn't matter if you had to go chase an older child or change a diaper~ they'd be there when you got back. Or be back soon themselves! The "process" of becoming friends was sped up by such constant access: there's almost ALWAYS someone else on the board!

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We've been together since early pregnancy, some of us, and it was so thrilling to hear as each baby was born. There's been some drama- even to the extent of the splitting of the board. People have come & gone, but a core group is always there. I would be soooo lost without them! There are about 100 members, maybe 55 or so I am more familiar with. We are spread out across the U.S. & the U.K. & Australia. The 2 in Australia met up & have become fast friends & their two children were even ring bearer & flower girl in the one's wedding! There have been meet-ups in Florida, California, Texas & other places, and of course, for ME- Minnesota! THAT was our play date yesterday: 2 other mamas & their little ones & me & my two littler ones at a splash park on a glorious summer day. ABSOLUTELY worth the drive.

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And a last sentimental note: I love these women. Seriously. My life is so much better because of them. Don't laugh because I met them online. I would go meet any one of them in person if I could! (Bucket list item: meet as many PB mamas as possible!) They have taken the time to really get to know me, my family, my hopes and dreams... we get silly (Flying Miracle Whip?), play games (whoami??), have our own little Happy Hours in a chat room (can't WAIT for the next one now that I have DSL), share tons of pictures of our little ones, have our own language (POAS, BFN, LO, EDD, AF), get serious & ask for advice, sympathy, prayer requests; mourn with each other and rejoice with each other (new babies! new jobs! new homes!). Everything any one could ever want in a friend... and I have them all here at the click of a mouse...

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So don't be surprised if you hear them mentioned a lot here. At the moment, they are some of the only ones even AWARE of this blog! But maybe this way when others join them, they'll understand our friendship better.
Love you, mamas!!

Socks

I warned you things could get random...

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How do YOU choose your socks?

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Are you trying to look dignified and be taken seriously? If you work in a professional field, I could see this as being reasonable. I mean like an attorney, or a CEO. If you're a woman in these fields, I imagine you may wear a power suit a lot, and nylons may be in order. But CAN they be a splash of color or an attempt at light-heartedness? What about other professions? I would not take my doctor- man or woman- less seriously if s/he had on fun socks. Rather I'd be relieved that s/he seems to have a sense of humor (as long as it wasn't crass- like bloody scalpels or something!).

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Maybe you purposely pick your socks to make yourself look fun? When I did daycare, the kids LOVED it when I wore fun socks. The toddlers would pull up my pants legs to get a look at Winnie-the-Pooh on my ankles! (They also loved the slippers I had with sequins sewn in a flower on them- I loved "working" in my slippers!) I've seen a lot of teachers wear fun socks. Do they just figure than can get away with it because they work with kids?

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Kids' socks themselves are GREAT. My girls have a bazillion different pair with Princesses, Sesame Street characters, hearts, etc. Even the plain colored socks tend to have a flower or something on the cuff. Yet they also have outfits that look better with plain black or brown or off-white socks. All of which are nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find for little girls!! WHY do clothing manufacturers do this to us?!?! If you're going to sell basic outfits in basic stores (think Target, Walmart, etc)- than PLEASE someone also sell the SOCKS to match in those stores! I hate that to get black socks for C & E I had to buy them full price at Children's Place. I can hardly afford anything else there not on sale- but that's where I had to go to get black socks!

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Do you choose your socks differently based on what the day ahead holds? If I'm going to a funeral, or even just to church, I tend to go for more "dignified" socks- black or dark, plain socks. If I'm going to an ECFE class with my kids, colored will do & quite possibly patterned. If I'm going to my women's Bible study, I'll go for colors, MAYBE a print, but they have to fit well & not be worn, since there's a good chance the hostess will invite us to leave our shoes at the door & others will be seeing my socks more...

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Are your socks sensible or stylish? I've thought about this while looking at the other women's socks at Bible study. Hazel (who I know is scared of computers so will NEVER see this!) is getting older, and is nothing if not practical. Her socks reflect that- warm, plain, sturdy. Others are sporty- it goes more with their personnas. A few have come with holes in the toes- they are down-to-earth and not concerned with their appearances- especially among friends.

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Has your array of socks changed as your life changes? Going through Jr. High & High School in the 80's (I feel old...), we all wore thick, slouchy socks. Lots of pastels. They matched our shirts & came up over our pinned-legged jeans. I couldn't wear those now. In college, I was pretty matchy-matchy with my outfits and socks (OK, I still am to a degree.) Warmth was the factor in trudging across campus in the snow when you were too cool to wear boots. When I worked in an office when B was little, I got more into just the basics; I didn't have time to think about it. When I did daycare, I got more fun socks. The past year or two I've started buying more "footie" socks- ankle socks that go better when wearing shorts & capris.

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I have a LOT of socks. I can hardly stand NOT wearing socks (which is OK most of the year in MN), and since they seem to rarely wear out, still have most of the ones I've bought over the last 10-15 years. They have their own drawer, of course. Lots of white ones- I got smart a few years ago and put a box in my drawer as a divider: all the knee-high nylons (that I RARELY wear) are in the box, all the white socks are on the Right & everything else is on the left. If I'm tired in the morning, or in a hurry, I don't have to think- just grab white socks & go. But days when I know I'm staying home with the kids, I'll find myself grabbing the lime green ones with the smiley faces. Or the rainbow striped ones. Or the ones with chickens. Or veggies. I think it's a little reminder to myself to not take myself so seriously and to remember the playful side of myself while I'm home raising my children.

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Who knew socks could be such a deep subject??

Make-It Monday 6/6/2011

This week, I am going on a playdate with some of my mama friends that I met online- hooray! So I am making Chex "Muddy Buddies", aka "Puppy/People Chow". It's nummy, and since we'll have 3 toddlers there, easy to eat!

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9 cups cereal (it calls for Chex, but I use a generic that is a combo of rice & corn)

1 c. semisweet chocolate chips

1/2 c. peanut butter (I use generic for things like this- the chocolate makes it better!)

1/4 c. butter or margarine

1 tsp. vanilla (I tend to dump & pour with vanilla :)

1 1/2 c. powdered sugar.

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In a 1-qt. microwavable bowl, heat chocolate chips, peanut butter & butter on HIGH for 1 minute. Stir. Heat about 30 seconds more until mix can be stirred smooth. Stir in vanilla. Pour mixture over the cereal (in a large bowl) and stir until evenly coated. Pour into a large (2 gallon if you have it- I end up using 2 one-gallon & splitting everything in half) resealable food-storage plastic bag. Add powdered sugar (3/4 c. in each bag if you had to split it!). Seal the bag(s) & shake until well coated. Pour out onto waxed paper to cool (and for easy early "taste-testing." Store in the refrigerator.

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Nummy!

Sure hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting this from the Chex box!!

I will probably post about our playdate on Tuesday :)

The beginning...

Why, hello there! If you are reading this, that means I finally felt organized and brave enough to share my blog address with some friends. I've been planning this blog in my mind for a long (LONG) time, but had to wait until I finally had DSL instead of dial-up Internet. Unfortunately, while I've been planning the blog, and composing posts in my head, none of it ever got written down before now... hence the title of this blog: Random, Wondering Wanderings.

A bit about me (which I suppose I SHOULD put in the "About Me" section, hmmm?): My name is Amy. I am 38 years old (my birthday is 7/30/72). I am a SAHM. I live in the country, outside a small town in rural Minnesota. I live in the same town I grew up in, and my hubby grew up here, too. Our parents also live nearby. I have been married for 18 years, and we have 3 children. When we sign family cards, etc. we use our initials (ABCDE), and at least to start, that is how I will denote my family on my blog. I am "A" (for Amy), hubby is "D". Our oldest, age 18 & a college student, is "B". Next is "C", who will be 4 this summer. Finally, "E" is almost a year and a half. All three girls (my poor hubby!). More on them later...

I know myself well enough to know I will do better with this blog if I have a "plan". I also know myself well enough to know that I may very well deviate from that plan from time to time! So- my thought are to have a few "theme" days, and then anything else my readers get is bonus! I am hoping to do "Make-It Mondays", where I will post a recipe, or a picture, or directions on something I have made, plan to make or dream of making. Ideally, there will be instructions for my readers to make whatever it is, too- or at least be inspired :) This "whatever" may be food, it may be a craft project, it may be a kid's project... just be prepared for, well, "whatever!"

I am also anticipated "Wondering Wednesdays"- a day to let all my random thoughts out. These would be the "blog posts" that I've composed in my head over time. Thoughts on things like... socks? rhubarb? toilet paper? cursive? Like I said- random. Stream-of-consciousness type writing. Scary!

And finally: "Family Fridays." Each week I'll share a little about a family member or some family dynamic. I'll do my immediate family, of course, but may branch out into cousins, parents, in-laws, nieces & nephews, aunts & uncles... there's a LOT of fodder for blog posts there!!

So while all this sounds well and good- remember, I reserve the right to deviate from this plan! But I'm hoping having those days in place will help me post more regularly. And who knows? Maybe I'll fall so in love with blogging that I WILL post every day (time permitting). But I'll also warn you- I can tell there will be a "learning curve" on having a blog. Buttons to follow me, links to friends' blogs, all that kind of stuff... I'll get there eventually, but be patient with me in the meantime. After all, this is ME- who put up with dial-up for 10-12 years. I like change, but on my own terms & timeline! And one other warning: I tend to be very, umm, verbose. Long-winded. But this is MY blog & I can run on and on if I want to!!

Soooo- thank you for reading my very first blog post :) I'm nervous about sharing this with TOO many people right away. I know my mama friends will be first (they love me, but don't see me every day, so it's easier to get their opinions and feedback without getting embarrassed!), and maybe, just maybe, I'll invite my FB friends, and even FAMILY to read someday.